Unlock Your Potential with `Okika Counseling
What is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)?
First developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, emotionally focused therapy (EFT therapy) is a therapeutic approach that works toward growing and expanding the self and its capacities. This modality is grounded in attachment science and provides a framework to transform some of our core emotional experiences.
Is EFT for Me?
Best Fit for EFT:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) benefits those feeling stuck in maladaptive patterns due to early attachment injuries or ongoing self-esteem wounds. It helps with depression, anxiety, unhealthy relationship dynamics, and trauma, particularly from toxic, abusive, or neglectful relationships. EFT supports marriages, family bonds, and interpersonal relationships by fostering emotional awareness, rebuilding trust, and alleviating stress, anxiety, and depression.
Contraindications for EFT:
EFT may not be suitable for individuals or couples unable to establish safety in sessions, those currently in abusive relationships, or clients lacking external support. It is also contraindicated for couples where extreme fear exists and the abusive partner denies responsibility. Short-term contraindications include conditions affecting emotional regulation, such as panic disorder, impulse disorders, psychosis, or schizophrenia.
What should I expect from EFT sessions?
There are 3 primary stages of EFT. The first is to reach "stabilization" and de-escalate negative interaction cycles you may engage in. At this stage, the therapist builds rapport and helps individuals understand what might be happening within their relationships and any insecurities or distance between the two will be distinguished.
The second stage involves "restructuring" interactions in relationships, where the therapist teaches the client to effectively discuss their fears using healthy communication skills. In individual therapy, the client learns to lean toward themselves and their therapist as an attachment figure, and engage in open and honest discussion. In couples therapy, the clients begin to lean toward each other, rather than away, and engage in these discussions openly, honestly, and vulnerably.
The final stage is consolidation. This stage involves specifically identifying negative patterns in the client's relationship to self and others and identifies how these patterns are able to be changed moving forward, in an effort to avoid repeating the maladaptive cycles from the past.
How long does EFT take and how is progress measured?
The length of time varies for each client and their specific therapeutic needs, and is best determined by the therapist. Typically, research demonstrates that 16-20 weekly sessions are required.
Client progress for EFT is measured by open and honest engagement between the client(s) and the therapist as it relates to the ability to achieve the outcomes desired in each of the three steps. Once a client is able to honestly identify their emotions in each situation, that is considered a success, and stage two is then initiated.
In stage two, progress is measured by the client's ability to effectively communicate these feelings to others in ways that are healthier and more adaptive. Once such progress is achieved, stage three begins, which involves identifying emotional response patterns and seeing how they impacted relationships, and how new patterns are forming to nurture stable, connected bonds.
Why is Attachment Important?
A Developmental Approach
If you landed here, you might already have some self and emotional awareness of the significant role past experiences and your development have in your relationship to yourself and others.
*You might have noticed patterns in who you date and how you approach relationships.
*You may have experienced these patterns repeating in each of your relationships, resulting in shame, guilt, or regret.
*You deeply desire a sense of connection and love, but fear that these patterns you engage will impact your ability to foster lasting love in your life, and may even fear that others will abandon, betray or control you.
*You have been in therapy but feel like you might have a "missing piece" in your treatment as it relates to putting some of what you learned into action.
It is fantastic that you have insight into these problems and recognize ways it might be limiting you from reaching your full potential! Utilizing EFT in their therapeutic services, `Okika Counseling guides you toward the solution in addresses these issues through a proven framework and tangible tools that aim to help you heal and restructure your attachment injuries, leading to a more secure attachment style.
What are Attachment Styles?
What are Attachment Styles?
Attachment styles refer to the emotional bonds and patterns of relating that individuals develop in their early relationships, particularly with their primary caregivers. These attachment styles play a crucial role in shaping how people form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. There are four primary attachment styles:
Secure Attachment
People with a secure attachment style tend to have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with emotional intimacy, can trust their partners, and are generally able to express their feelings and needs openly. They seek out and enjoy close relationships and can navigate conflicts and separations effectively.
Anxious (Preoccupied) Attachment
Individuals with an anxious attachment style often worry about their worthiness and whether their partners truly care for them. They may become overly dependent on their partners for validation and reassurance and may experience high levels of anxiety in their relationships. They tend to be sensitive to signs of rejection and may fear abandonment.
Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment
Individuals with an avoidant or dismissive attachment style tend to be highly self-reliant and value their independence. They may downplay the importance of emotional intimacy and may have difficulty opening up to others or expressing their feelings. They may seem emotionally distant and prioritize self-sufficiency over close relationships.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment
Individuals with a fearful-avoidant or disorganized attachment style is characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant tendencies. Individuals with this style often have a fear of intimacy due to past experiences of inconsistent caregiving or trauma. They may crave emotional closeness but struggle with trust and may vacillate between seeking and avoiding intimacy.
Attachment theory provides us evidence-based insights as to why we might choose certain partners, the way we think, feel or act in relationships, why we might repeat specific relationship dynamics or patterns, and provides us a framework toward becoming more secure in our lives.
Why are Attachment Styles Important in Relationships?
Why are Attachment Styles Important in Relationships?
Insecure attachment can contribute to a variety of negative outcomes, including difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships, low-self esteem, and difficulty regulating emotions. The following areas are typically impacted by one's attachment style:
Influence on Relationship Satisfaction
Attachment styles can significantly impact how individuals perceive and experience their relationships. People with secure attachments tend to have more satisfying and fulfilling relationships, while those with anxious or avoidant attachments may face more challenges and dissatisfaction.
Communication Patterns
Attachment styles influence how people communicate and express their needs and emotions in relationships. Understanding each other's attachment styles can lead to better communication and conflict resolution.
Impact on Relationship Dynamics
Attachment styles can shape how partners interact and respond to each other's needs. For example, an anxious individual may seek more reassurance, while an avoidant partner may feel overwhelmed by this need, leading to conflicts.
Compatibility and Attraction
People often find themselves drawn to partners with attachment styles that match or complement their own. This can lead to more harmonious relationships when attachment styles align but can also create challenges when there are significant differences.
Healing and Growth
Recognizing one's attachment style can be a step toward personal growth and healing. Individuals with insecure attachment styles can work on developing more secure attachments through therapy and self-awareness.
Attachment styles provide insight into how we connect with others in relationships, affecting our emotional well-being, communication, and overall satisfaction. Recognizing and understanding these styles can help individuals and couples navigate challenges, improve their connection, and build healthier, more secure relationships.